Autistic couples therapy
Madison Sundgren, Clinical Psychologist at Amora Psychology, provides neuroaffirming couples therapy online across Australia for relationships where one or both partners are autistic, including autistic–autistic and mixed-neurotype couples. The work is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy and does not aim to make autistic partners communicate in a more neurotypical way.
Autistic people can experience communication, emotion, sensory information and connection differently — but different does not mean deficient.
Relationship difficulties can arise when partners make understandable assumptions about what the other's behaviour means.
A need for processing time may look like withdrawal. Direct communication may be interpreted as harshness. Different needs for touch, socialising, routine or emotional expression can leave both partners wondering why something that feels obvious to them isn’t obvious to the person they love.
What therapy may explore
Therapy may explore differences in:
- communication and use of language
- processing time
- sensory needs
- recognising and expressing emotions
- routines and predictability
- social energy and recovery time
- conflict and emotional overwhelm
- affection and physical touch
- sex and intimacy
- expectations around connection
- masking and the impact of late identification
Building a shared understanding
There is no assumption that the autistic partner needs to learn to communicate in a more neurotypical way. Instead, we become curious about both partners’ experiences and build a shared understanding of what connection looks like in your particular relationship.
One of the most useful shifts can be separating behaviour from the meaning that has become attached to it.
“You walked away because you don’t care” might become “You were overloaded and needed time before you could continue.” “You keep asking the same question because you don’t trust me” might become “Predictability helps you feel safe and understand what is happening.”
Understanding does not mean that impact no longer matters. It gives couples somewhere more useful to begin.
An adapted, neuroaffirming approach
I integrate neuroaffirming practice with Emotionally Focused Therapy, adapting the process to the people in front of me rather than expecting couples to fit a standard model of communication.
Together, we work towards a relationship in which both partners can understand each other more accurately, communicate their needs more clearly, and experience greater emotional safety and connection.
Contact
Telehealth available Australia wide, with limited in-person availability on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 0493 310 565 or email admin@amorapsychology.com.au.