ADHD couples therapy
Through Amora Psychology, Clinical Psychologist Madison Sundgren provides neuroaffirming ADHD couples therapy for couples where one or both partners have ADHD, including ADHD–ADHD and mixed-neurotype relationships. Appointments are available online across Australia, with the work informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy.
ADHD can shape relationships in ways that are easy to misunderstand.
Forgetfulness can look like not caring. Difficulty starting a task can look like avoidance. Emotional overwhelm can become a conflict very quickly. One partner may feel criticised or constantly corrected, while the other feels exhausted from remembering, organising or following things up.
Over time, both partners can end up feeling misunderstood.
How ADHD can affect a relationship
ADHD can affect:
- attention and listening
- remembering conversations, plans and commitments
- organisation and household responsibilities
- time awareness and punctuality
- task initiation and follow-through
- emotional regulation
- impulsivity
- transitions between activities
- intimacy and connection
- parenting and the mental load
Separating intention from impact
Understanding ADHD does not mean attributing every relationship difficulty to ADHD. Part of our work is figuring out what is ADHD, what is the relationship pattern, and what each partner actually needs.
A common pattern develops when one partner feels they have to remind, organise or pursue while the other feels criticised, controlled or as though they are continually getting things wrong. Both partners can become stuck.
Couples therapy helps us separate intention from impact. We can acknowledge the genuine impact something has on a partner while also understanding the neurocognitive processes underneath it.
From there, we can develop strategies that work with ADHD rather than relying on repeated promises to simply try harder.
Looking underneath recurring disagreements
My work is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy as well as neuroaffirming practice. That means we don’t only focus on calendars, chores and communication techniques. Those things can matter, but we also look underneath recurring disagreements.
Often there are much more important questions: Can I rely on you? Do you understand how hard I’m trying? Am I important to you? Can I get this wrong without disappointing you? Are we actually on the same team?
Understanding both the ADHD and the emotional pattern can help couples find a different way forward.
Contact
Telehealth available Australia wide, with limited in-person availability on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 0493 310 565 or email admin@amorapsychology.com.au.